Updated: Apr 4, 2019
What do you allow to define success? Is it other’s opinions? Comparison of the accomplishments of others to yours? Is your definition of success based upon what you think about and how you view yourself? How are we supposed to know what success feels like or looks like, or even if we’ve attained it? What separates us from being ordinary and extraordinary?
The answer lies within yourself. It lies within how much you allow the outside world to define you. I know for me, I take the success I see my friends achieving and compare it to what I’m doing and find myself in a state of despair and depression. I sit in my room, tears running down my face, as I realize I’m never going to be as wonderful as that person over there. (Yes, I can be a little dramatic at time.) I sit in despair in my closet, staring at nothing and marveling at my lack of success, my lack of accomplishments. This sense of unworthiness negatively transfers into everything I do. It causes me to be insecure. It casts a shadow on my current projects, because I’m looking through someone else’s hazy mirror of accomplishments instead of directly into the mirror, at myself, discovering what success means for me.
It took me a while to realize that success is something I define for myself. Success is something that differs from person to person, based upon their values and life goals. Comparison won't work when working towards success. We've all been through different circumstances and we've all dealt with different situations, so success is and should be different than your best friend's, coworker's, or Elon Musk's.
What are your proficiencies? What are you good at? What makes you come alive? If you’ve never asked yourself these questions, genuinely and earnestly, than I invite you to do so.
Once you find the answer, there also lies the answer to your success. Success is a state of mind, not a concrete road that you will stumble upon if you’re lucky. Realizing your uniqueness will allow you to push forward towards the personal expression of success that you’ve set for yourself, not the measurement of success from others.
Assess your success through your own values and goals. Shove aside the criticism and comparison. Define success for yourself.